[identity profile] catskilt.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] jewelledhours
Title: In This Quiet World
Pairing: Koyama/Yamapi
Author: [livejournal.com profile] misticloud
Rating: PG
Words: 1,993
Summary: Nothing but the two of them and this quiet world.
Note: Birthday fic for [livejournal.com profile] w_ryoku, who has been a lovely friend ever since the day we first met. Not in chronological order.



In This Quiet World

"We were so blind," says Koyama the first time they kiss, eyes still open at the wonder that is happening to them. "It took us five years to get to this point? Where have we been all this while?"

Yamapi runs his hand down the side of Koyama's face. "Making our way towards each other, I guess."

Koyama considers that for a moment, then smiles. Yamapi tilts his head forward and they lean in for their second kiss. "Should've moved faster, though."

… …

When Yamapi thinks about it, he finds that it's perfectly natural that he should have fallen in love with Koyama. He the front leader, Koyama the MC, the both of them sitting beside each other in the front row helming interviews, talking to hosts, smiling at the cameras. He has depended more on Koyama than on any other member in the group except Ryo, and Koyama has always come through, resolving problems that he didn't know how to handle and bringing the group together when he'd been too caught up in his own resentment to bother overly much about what a leader should do.

He thinks that perhaps he doesn't deserve someone like Koyama. Doesn't merit all the kindness, generosity, and support that Koyama so freely gives. In the five years that they've known each other, five years of give and take, he has always been the one taking, hardly the one giving.

But then Koyama catches his eye in the mirror as the group goes through the dance moves again and the smile on his face is exclusive, private, and Yamapi thinks that who does really deserve so much love anyway, who ever deserves so much happiness? It's not about whether you deserve it or not, that's just self-conscious thinking. All it's about is what life has somehow seen fit to give you and how you should cherish it, put all your heart into it, learn how to embrace.

… …

Koyama keeps himself busy when Yamapi is away. There're a lot of chores to do around the apartment, especially since Yamapi seems to have a penchant for leaving behind trails of destruction. There are containers in the fridge that are uncapped; frozen food packages that have expired for a week; half-washed dishes left soaking in the kitchen sink; towels left lying on the bathroom floor with no clue as to whether or not they're clean; and clothes mish-mashed together in Yamapi's closet signifying lateness, hurried packing and grabbing of whatever first comes to hand.

Koyama typically spends the first day of Yamapi's absence straightening the mess. By the time he's done cleaning up the apartment and throwing out unwanted things, it's evening and he gives Shige a call to go out for dinner together. Most of the time Shige is available, but when he's tied up with schoolwork or family obligations, Koyama scrolls through his address book to find some other companion. He has over 800 names in his book, so it isn't often (if ever) that he's forced to end up alone.

When he's out with friends, he doesn't think about Yamapi at all. Koyama's not the type who broods over absent lovers and frustrates the people around him by constantly referring to his significant other. He lets go, has a good time, drinks a couple of beers, sometimes goes for a two-hour karaoke session before returning to Yamapi's apartment and flopping exhaustedly on the bed.

Only then does he begin to feel Yamapi's absence, all the nooks and corners that seem strangely empty, the spaces that are more apparent. But before he begins to get really lonely, his handphone rings.

"Missed me?" Yamapi says when he picks up.

"I didn't think about you at all today," says Koyama, faking an indifferent voice, "except when I saw the dirty dishes in the sink and the expired milk in the fridge."

"Oh, it was expired? Maybe that's why I've been having stomachache the whole day."

Koyama jumps up, "What? Do you have any medicine with you? Is it very bad?"

A pause, then a low chuckle on the other end of the line, "You know, I can picture you right now. You've just returned home and you're lying on the bed and thinking now that Pi's away, the apartment seems very big."

"Um," says Koyama, still worried over Yamapi's stomachache.

"The only thing wrong with that picture is that you seem to think my sense of smell has deteriorated to the extent that I would drink expired milk."

Koyama blinks.

"Did I get it right?"

"You liar," Koyama says, then starts laughing. Yamapi laughs along with him and in the middle of their laughter, he says, "Yes."

… …

The song is taking shape in melody and lyrics and Yamapi watches as Koyama bends over the scattered pieces of notepaper on the table, humming tunes distractedly to himself. He has always known that Koyama puts effort into his work, all of them do, but when they first agreed to do a duet together, he hadn't imagined that Koyama would be this dedicated. It's going to turn out brilliantly, better than any duet he has ever done, and it belongs entirely to them.

Koyama looks up, seemingly to say something, and catches Yamapi's gaze. They stare at each other for a moment, Yamapi's eyes thoughtful, Koyama's startled, until Yamapi smiles and says, "This is going to be great."

"Y-yeah," Koyama stutters a little in wake of the new ideas suddenly springing up in his mind.

Yamapi continues watching as Koyama lowers his head over the sheets of paper again, a hot blush working its way down from his ears to his cheeks, and wonders why he has never seen Koyama before.

… …

Six months into the relationship, Koyama enlists Shige's help in unpacking boxes and shifting furniture at Yamapi's new apartment, where Koyama will naturally be a frequent visitor. Shige comes willingly enough, but three hours and four boxes later, he's flat on the living room sofa and nothing Koyama does can make him move off it.

"This is voluntary servitude. Even paid workers get a rest every now and then."

In the face of such logic, Koyama gives up and sits down on the floor, leaning against the foot of the sofa. They're quiet for a moment before Shige says, "How does Yamashita-kun put up with a spaz like you?"

"I don't know," says Koyama, turning his head and giving Shige a cheeky grin. "How did you put up with me all these years?"

"I'm more than happy to be handing the pain over to him."

"He seems more than happy to take over."

"Seriously," says Shige, "how did you guys do it?"

Koyama laughs, wonders briefly if there's more in Shige's question than he lets on. "If you're jealous, you just have to say so, Shige."

Shige's eyebrows quirk and Koyama suddenly understands. He turns and punches Shige's leg. "Don’t be stupid, Shige. Nothing changes!"

"I never said anything would," says Shige huffily, and jumps up from the sofa. "Come on, do you want to get this done or not before he comes back?"

Koyama smiles a little as he follows, can't help but punch Shige's arm again before getting down once more to wrestle with the boxes.

… …

When Koyama thinks about it, he's glad that they took all those years to come together. Yamapi laments the time they wasted, but Koyama is a positive person and he knows that they didn't waste all that time anyway. It's all about timing. Perhaps if they'd gotten together near the start of NEWS' formation as the two gawky and immature boys as they'd been then, they wouldn't be here now. There would have been Moriuchi's resignation to tide through, Uchi and Kusano's scandals, and the half-year suspension. Yamapi would still have been sullen and reticent backstage, mourning the loss of 4TOPS, and Koyama would have been too much affected by Yamapi's moods to concentrate on the group.

Of course he wishes that they'd wised up earlier, realised that there was something special between them that could be worked towards. Lots of early misunderstandings would have been avoided. Enduring the suspension would have been much easier if they had spent it side by side, supporting each other as they waited for the announcement that would bring NEWS back to them. Yamapi would have been happier for a longer period of time.

But then Koyama knows that all that's just guesswork, there's no telling what might really have happened. They might not have been able to take the strain of a relationship alongside work problems. Quarrels might have happened; anger and unhappiness and harsh words brought on by stress. Koyama knows that it's better this way, that they've found each other at a time when love would be a comfort instead of a burden, when they're both grown up enough to know what's between them is something that can last. He wouldn't have it any other way.

… …

Koyama wakes up in the early hours of the morning to find himself shivering. Forcing open an eyelid, he sees the reason almost immediately; he's completely uncovered while Yamapi has more than his fair share of blankets.

He scowls and attempts to nick the blankets back, but Yamapi has an iron grip on them and it's almost impossible to do so without waking him up. So Koyama wakes him up.

"You've taken my blanket," he says, poking Yamapi hard on the cheek.

Yamapi sighs and turns his face away.

"I said, you've taken my blanket and I'm cold!"

"That's nice," Yamapi murmurs sleepily. "I like dumplings too."

Koyama stares at him, but Yamapi just buries his head in the blankets and refuses to budge.

In the end, Koyama opts for lifting up the blanket and crawling in beside Yamapi. Sometimes it’s really a mystery to him why he still puts up with this guy. He's sure that out there in the world of three billion men, he should be able to find one who isn't a selfish blanket hog. But then Yamapi makes a little happy sound and turns over to wrap his arms around him, and his body is soft and solid against Koyama's, hair softly tickling Koyama's nose, and Koyama lets himself remember that there is, after all, a reason why they're both here.

He falls asleep again in the warmth.

… …

For once the both of them are scheduled to have the day off, so they make it a point to draw the curtains tightly together and sleep in. But Koyama still wakes up sometime after ten o' clock and Yamapi doesn't stay in bed for sixteen hours at a time as he used to do. When Koyama starts up the coffee maker in the kitchen, he rolls out of bed and staggers to the bathroom to brush sleep out of his face.

Koyama's not usually expert at making eggs but this morning, by some trick of the stove, he manages to fry eggs sunny side up without ruining the yolks. Yamapi adds the salt and pepper and toasts the bread, taking care to cut out the crust from Koyama's bread because he doesn't like it. The newspaper arrives at their doorstep but since neither is into reading papers, they leave it on the sofa while bantering and stealing bits out of each other's breakfast. Yamapi burns the toast on the second round and Koyama complains, but obligingly scrapes out the burned bits into the kitchen sink so that they won't waste food.

Koyama, looking around at the little things that make this apartment their home, thinks of oblivious years and Ginza love songs and a lifetime ahead with countless more mornings like this.

Yamapi, surreptitiously plopping extra sugar into Koyama's coffee while Koyama is scraping the toast, thinks of the day ahead with nothing but the two of them and this quiet world.


end




A/N: Happy birthday, wid! I'm sorry if this fic is rather sketchy. Just remember it's the thought that counts, okay? <3 Have the best birthday ever.

Date: 2009-01-31 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] w-ryoku.livejournal.com
Have not read it yet but OMG KOYAMAPI 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

sketchy?
Shouldnt have spazzed about RS just now LMAO

THANKS! ♥♥♥

You are a Gem *coughs*

Date: 2009-01-31 05:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] w-ryoku.livejournal.com
Ignore my subject comment before you puke and laugh your head off like yesterday morning XDDDDD

BUT I SERIOUSLY LOVE THIS ♥ Not because it was for me and I am supposed to say nice things.
And I especially the dynamics of Yamapi x Koyama. How they are interdependent. Koyama takes up that role because Yamapi gave him the chance too....by being not so leader-like lol.

ありがちゅう \(^3^)/

Date: 2009-01-31 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] htenywg.livejournal.com
T_____________________________T

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. *A* MAKES ME NOT FEEL LIKE FINISHING AND POSTING MY OWN KOYAMAPI FIC CAUSE OF ZIBEI-NESS AHHH

I like their maturity, the way Koyama doesn't regret not getting together earlier, and the way they appreciate each other for who they are.

I actually realise that NEWS pairings are only more or less possible post-suspension... they weren't close enough before for anything to have happened.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] htenywg.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-02-02 11:00 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-01-31 05:43 pm (UTC)
ext_156784: (Default)
From: [identity profile] badbatazz.livejournal.com
their relationship is like the married couple routine. where they are in tune with each other

Date: 2009-01-31 06:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snowy-yuki.livejournal.com
sweet as usual <3333

Date: 2009-01-31 06:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ununoriginal.livejournal.com
ah, so peaceful and natural and so very very sweet. omg the fluff! i ADORE koyapi fluff &hearts&hearts&hearts&hearts&hearts&hearts so exactly wat i needed ^____^

Date: 2009-01-31 07:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trivialaffair.livejournal.com
NO CLAY DICK NO CLAY DICK NO CLAY DICK NO CLAY DICK

...

Just kidding~ or am I bwahahaha

I love the way you wrote Koyama and Yamapi. It just...their interactions seemed so natural and lovely and laksdmf XD.

And er, "it's the thought that counts" will be exactly what I say when I butcher a fic for you XP

Date: 2009-01-31 08:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rea-irixyu.livejournal.com
bhjcbvkfb You're a mind reader, aren't you? I was thinking, "I wonder is Gem has a new fic coming up soon..." when I woke up this morning, and then I check today, and bgfdjmkgh YAY. XD

KOYAMAPI. <3 I love how they're so in sync with one another, and Koyama is just fshgkfhjfdh love. XD I'd love to put up with a spaz like him. 8D <3 MyPace!Pi. =D

XD I can totally see Pi being a blanket hog I'm one too.

<3

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] rea-irixyu.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-02-01 05:39 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-01-31 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bellemainec.livejournal.com
fabulous and sweet and lovely, and the breakfast scene was pure win.

Date: 2009-01-31 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ungalad.livejournal.com
Oh, wow, this was so beautiful and touching it sort of made me cry. ;___; All the what-ifs and possibilities they had and it all comes down to them here and now, together and happy, sniff. Such a gorgeous fic. ♥

Date: 2009-02-01 02:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellazeee.livejournal.com
asdkjdgf natural and pretty and soft and sweet haha, just like everything Koyama is. :D You win so hard.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] stellazeee.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-02-01 11:17 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-02-01 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] binmusic.livejournal.com
This has got such an easy-going feel to it boo. It's relaxing and just very comfortable :] I missed your Koyapi ♥

AND not a hint of angst at all, I'm surprised xDD

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] binmusic.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-02-01 09:24 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-02-01 07:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tego-cindyy.livejournal.com
ahh so peaceful...

*daydreams

Date: 2009-02-01 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] albeitalways.livejournal.com
...you know this is the one main reason why koyapi always has a special place in my heart~now and then i want to read a fic that doesn't involve memory loss, snarky sex and that whole dramatic theatrics...
...koyama's gentle side and yamapi's nature totally matches each other...
...i mean at any rate, it's nice reading fics that portray news as well...normal *coughsmarriedcoughs* couple for once...

Date: 2009-02-01 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snow-meow.livejournal.com
I agree with Koyama's point of view. Time was not wasted at all. It gave them enough time to build the foundation they needed for this relationship.


I believe all relationships is based on timing. Too soon and it burns out. Too slow and it moves on.

Date: 2009-02-01 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] plumeria-alba.livejournal.com
It's quiet and warm..^____^

I like mature and sometimes lonely Koyama

Thanks for writing this

Date: 2009-02-01 04:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jtriskell.livejournal.com
Sweet, liked it a lot.

Date: 2009-02-01 05:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonbyrd.livejournal.com
My love for you and this can only be expressed in mental images of warm sunshine falling on softly upholstered sofas in which two quiet souls are resting together. &hearts
(deleted comment)

Date: 2009-02-01 07:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kyuushin.livejournal.com
it attract me seriously...
the way you write it...the feeling in here is so, natural ^^

not really a fan of fluff and not angsty stuff, but you intrigued me to comment after reading ^^

thanks for such lovely fic ^^

Date: 2009-02-01 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinyaromeniel.livejournal.com
these too are just picture perfect. And the way you write them just makes me all squishy and happy and bubbly inside I could squeal at you *squeals at you* xD

My love for KoyaPi is growing and growing and they seriously don't get enough love from me anyway regarding the fact that they always end up as a side pairing in my fics *shot*

This was just &hearts

Date: 2009-02-02 01:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ezyls-girl.livejournal.com
Koyapiyayness! 8DDD

I can feel the warmth in the blanket~ And I can smell the coffee~

And I'm totally not going off on a weird tangent by insinuating anything remotely dirty.

Date: 2009-02-02 02:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ky-rin.livejournal.com
Yamapi thinks that who does really deserve so much love anyway, who ever deserves so much happiness? It's not about whether you deserve it or not, that's just self-conscious thinking.
MY HEART T~T

Koyama lets himself remember that there is, after all, a reason why they're both here.
a;lskdjalsdkja;lsdkj ♥♥♥

I loved the bit about scraping burnt toast, little pretty details about their domestic life are all so gorgeous ♥ Love it like whoa!

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] ky-rin.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-02-02 02:38 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2009-02-02 03:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aikomidori.livejournal.com
*O*
There is such a nice, warm, happy feeling in my heart right now ♥ All the little things that make up Koyamapi's life - they're beautiful and shiny~ and Yamapi surreptitiously plopping extra sugar into Koyama's coffee is just too sweet and puts a happy smile on my face :D

ETA: You're only allowed to write it's the thought that counts when the writing is bad. Silly Gem :3
Edited Date: 2009-02-02 03:36 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-02-02 03:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shade-of-kim.livejournal.com
i keep thinking of ryo's ordinary while reading this. and i love it~... the contentment feel of this story is lovely.

Date: 2009-02-02 05:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] speckled-writer.livejournal.com
Absolute gorgeousness!!
You paint such a pretty picture with your words. It was just their life but it was beatuful. ♥

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