[shige/pi] won't you come on over
Mar. 22nd, 2009 09:19 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
catskilt.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
jewelledhourstitle: won't you come on over
pairing: shige/yamapi
author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
misticloud
rating: pg-13
summary: when confessions come too soon and boys debate being fools.
note: written forrolling_scone to a prompt that i didn't follow much.
"What did we do? What happened last night?"
"…I'm guessing we…"
"Oh fuck. Tell me this is a hallucination."
"I don't think it is."
"We're in deep shit."
"It's not that bad, Shige."
"Oh fuck. Fuck."
… …
Shige has slept with people before. A girl in high school, pert nose, round breasts, slim legs. Another girl in his first year at Aoyama, who quickly sensed his lack of interest in the proceedings. His first male sex partner three weeks later, whom he slept with for a year before they broke up. A couple of blurred faces after that. So yes, he's slept with people before, he knows how it goes, how it happens in the morning when the passion of the night is long gone. But he's never done this, never imagined doing this, never thought that someday he would wake up naked and entangled with a similarly naked Yamapi.
Come on over, was all Yamapi had said the day before, when the meetings had ended and they were the only ones without appointments or dates. My house will be empty tonight; mother and sis are on a two-day trip to Kyoto.
That was it. He hadn't said anything about first and second and third kisses on a couch and eventually ending up in bed with clothes removed. He hadn't said anything about waking up the next morning and realizing that they were fucked, in every sense of the word and more besides.
Shige knows he has to forget the night that just happened. Has to put it into his area of lost memories and never have it resurface again, even under psychiatric techniques. Because going to your group member's place and having sex with him is something that you should never remember, ever.
And so he leaves, even while Yamapi's still on the bed staring at him out of sleep-fuddled eyes. He leaves, so that he has less to remember, and consequently less to forget.
… …
Yamapi can't remember when he started wanting Shige to love him back, for one and one to equal two.
He only knows that he's gone too far to turn around now and walk back to the starting point.
He wants to look at Shige from across a room and have him smile back, a fleeting secret smile only they understand. He wants to take on some of Shige's sense of humour; to learn to look at life and laugh at it like Shige always does. He wants to go on long aimless drives sea-wards with Shige beside him arguing that Coldplay would be a better band to listen to than Southern All Stars. He wants to know how Shige can take failure and make it into success. He wants the both of them to sit at home together during evenings when time belongs to them, and watch movies that don't make sense.
He didn't mean to kiss Shige on the couch. But somehow he hopes that he did, that the first kiss led to the second, and the second to the third, and so forth, because Shige wanted him to.
After all, kisses are made up of two parties, aren't they?
… …
"Let's go for dinner tonight," he says three days later, when they're alone in the meeting room and Shige can't avoid him anymore.
Shige looks at him warily. "I don't think we should."
"Why not?"
Yamapi watches him flounder with an answer. Wonders briefly why Shige can't ever be as direct with him as he is with Koyama, Tegoshi and Massu. Wonders why, even after all this time, even after kisses on a couch.
"I don't want anything like that night happening to us again," Shige says at last.
"Was it so hard to get through?"
"Yamashita-kun!" Shige's look turns into exasperation. "You know that's not what I'm talking about."
"Shige, despite what you might be thinking, I'm not some kind of sex maniac. I just want to have dinner with you."
Shige sighs.
… …
He's thinking of Yamapi's smile, actually, the genuine kind that he shows when there isn't a camera sticking in his face. The look on Yamapi's face as he stood by a palm tree in Hawaii looking out at a gleaming blue sea. Yamapi staying in the rehearsal rooms till ungodly hours going through the dance sequence for Ginza Rhapsody over and over, thinking of how to make it perfect. Yamapi saying he loved work best when he was with NEWS. YRKMKT in gold on a black leather jacket.
He doesn’t know what Yamapi wants from him, but he knows he doesn't have the heart to add to the hurt already apparent on Yamapi's face.
He thinks they shouldn't be doing this. They should be staying away from each other until memories have dimmed into nothingness, until they've once again become group members Kato Shigeaki and Yamashita Tomohisa without any dirt in their history. But he says okay, let's have dinner anyway.
… …
Night air has a distinct scent, a smell of mixed smells. Apples and turpentine. Rain and damp roads. Shige takes deep breaths of it as he supports Yamapi on the side of a street, waiting for cabs to appear.
"Mah place," Yamapi says. "Come to mah place."
"No, your mum and sister are back from Kyoto and they wouldn't want me around at this time."
Yamapi slumps forward a little and Shige straightens him.
"Shigeh."
"Why is it that cab drivers constantly complain about having no passengers but are never around when you need them?"
"…I really likes you."
"Um, thanks."
"No, no, I really really likes you."
Shige doesn't say anything for a while. He's afraid that if he does, the only word that would slip out – in unintended loudness – would be what?
… …
Somewhere along the way, the message was improperly decoded.
Yamapi watches as Shige lengthens the distance between them, inch by inch and silence by silence. It's almost as though they've gone back three years to a time when Kato Shigeaki was only a name to make up eight names and Yamashita Tomohisa was a name that outstripped the others.
He wonders which part of I really like you did Shige not understand.
… …
"Shige's got a mind block sort of thing," says Koyama. "You have to convince him that you really like him or he'll think it's drunken talk."
"Do you think he's open to me liking him, though?"
Koyama fiddles with his fingers for a bit. Yamapi's about to tell him that it's okay, the truth is fine, there's no need to make up half-lies, but then Koyama looks up and says, "He is. He just doesn't think you would ever like him."
Yamapi's about to smile, almost about to laugh, when Ryo says, "Don't make a fool out of yourself, Pi."
… …
He remembers the first time they met. They were filming one of those 'worst dates' thing and he'd been thinking I'll be completely overshadowed by Yamashita-kun! which, of course, he was. With a vengeance. For years nobody remembered that he'd even been in Yamapi's Worst Date.
There's nothing special to remember about that filming. Yamapi had been working hard at his lines and expressions, talking more to the director than to Shige himself. Shige wasn't sure if Yamapi even noticed him, save for the times they acted opposite each other.
And then they were in NEWS together, Yamapi in the very forefront with the microphone talking to the hosts, and Shige right at the back of any seating arrangement and dance formation, hoping that he'd be on screen for 1/1000 of the time NEWS was on TV.
It's ridiculous, isn't it, that someone who has always been in the middle of the spotlight could truly like someone who stands at least three members away from it?
The problem is, Yamapi's telling him right now that it's not ridiculous. That no matter what restrictions or levels the Jimusho imposes upon them, they're still only two guys, and somehow, somewhere along the five years of hesitant smiles and late working nights and birthday drinks and bawdy jokes, Tomohisa has fallen for Shigeaki.
Shige doesn't know what to make of it.
… …
Maybe it's true though.
Maybe, if he looks closer, it's been true for a really long time.
It makes him feel ridiculously light-headed.
… …
"You know what they say about fools?" Shige says on the phone one day when they're still in the 'experimenting' stage.
"No, what do 'they' say?" Yamapi asks.
" 'They' say that we would really be foolish to do this. It's like hanging a placard around our necks asking for shit from the Jimusho."
"So can we be fools?"
"I'm still wondering…"
"Being a fool can be useful. You need to be a fool to get some things done."
"Do you think we are?"
"If anything, we're being too logical."
… …
It's eight o' clock, or slightly after, when Shige calls again.
So, he says. Don't know why I'm doing this. I guess a fool never really does know what he's doing, huh?
There's a short pause, then Shige laughs a little. Come over? There's only me at my place. And home-cooked omurice, if you can bear to eat it.
Yamapi smiles at the self-consciousness in Shige's voice. Says he'll be there in half an hour.
pairing: shige/yamapi
author:
misticloud rating: pg-13
summary: when confessions come too soon and boys debate being fools.
note: written for
rolling_scone to a prompt that i didn't follow much."What did we do? What happened last night?"
"…I'm guessing we…"
"Oh fuck. Tell me this is a hallucination."
"I don't think it is."
"We're in deep shit."
"It's not that bad, Shige."
"Oh fuck. Fuck."
… …
Shige has slept with people before. A girl in high school, pert nose, round breasts, slim legs. Another girl in his first year at Aoyama, who quickly sensed his lack of interest in the proceedings. His first male sex partner three weeks later, whom he slept with for a year before they broke up. A couple of blurred faces after that. So yes, he's slept with people before, he knows how it goes, how it happens in the morning when the passion of the night is long gone. But he's never done this, never imagined doing this, never thought that someday he would wake up naked and entangled with a similarly naked Yamapi.
Come on over, was all Yamapi had said the day before, when the meetings had ended and they were the only ones without appointments or dates. My house will be empty tonight; mother and sis are on a two-day trip to Kyoto.
That was it. He hadn't said anything about first and second and third kisses on a couch and eventually ending up in bed with clothes removed. He hadn't said anything about waking up the next morning and realizing that they were fucked, in every sense of the word and more besides.
Shige knows he has to forget the night that just happened. Has to put it into his area of lost memories and never have it resurface again, even under psychiatric techniques. Because going to your group member's place and having sex with him is something that you should never remember, ever.
And so he leaves, even while Yamapi's still on the bed staring at him out of sleep-fuddled eyes. He leaves, so that he has less to remember, and consequently less to forget.
… …
Yamapi can't remember when he started wanting Shige to love him back, for one and one to equal two.
He only knows that he's gone too far to turn around now and walk back to the starting point.
He wants to look at Shige from across a room and have him smile back, a fleeting secret smile only they understand. He wants to take on some of Shige's sense of humour; to learn to look at life and laugh at it like Shige always does. He wants to go on long aimless drives sea-wards with Shige beside him arguing that Coldplay would be a better band to listen to than Southern All Stars. He wants to know how Shige can take failure and make it into success. He wants the both of them to sit at home together during evenings when time belongs to them, and watch movies that don't make sense.
He didn't mean to kiss Shige on the couch. But somehow he hopes that he did, that the first kiss led to the second, and the second to the third, and so forth, because Shige wanted him to.
After all, kisses are made up of two parties, aren't they?
… …
"Let's go for dinner tonight," he says three days later, when they're alone in the meeting room and Shige can't avoid him anymore.
Shige looks at him warily. "I don't think we should."
"Why not?"
Yamapi watches him flounder with an answer. Wonders briefly why Shige can't ever be as direct with him as he is with Koyama, Tegoshi and Massu. Wonders why, even after all this time, even after kisses on a couch.
"I don't want anything like that night happening to us again," Shige says at last.
"Was it so hard to get through?"
"Yamashita-kun!" Shige's look turns into exasperation. "You know that's not what I'm talking about."
"Shige, despite what you might be thinking, I'm not some kind of sex maniac. I just want to have dinner with you."
Shige sighs.
… …
He's thinking of Yamapi's smile, actually, the genuine kind that he shows when there isn't a camera sticking in his face. The look on Yamapi's face as he stood by a palm tree in Hawaii looking out at a gleaming blue sea. Yamapi staying in the rehearsal rooms till ungodly hours going through the dance sequence for Ginza Rhapsody over and over, thinking of how to make it perfect. Yamapi saying he loved work best when he was with NEWS. YRKMKT in gold on a black leather jacket.
He doesn’t know what Yamapi wants from him, but he knows he doesn't have the heart to add to the hurt already apparent on Yamapi's face.
He thinks they shouldn't be doing this. They should be staying away from each other until memories have dimmed into nothingness, until they've once again become group members Kato Shigeaki and Yamashita Tomohisa without any dirt in their history. But he says okay, let's have dinner anyway.
… …
Night air has a distinct scent, a smell of mixed smells. Apples and turpentine. Rain and damp roads. Shige takes deep breaths of it as he supports Yamapi on the side of a street, waiting for cabs to appear.
"Mah place," Yamapi says. "Come to mah place."
"No, your mum and sister are back from Kyoto and they wouldn't want me around at this time."
Yamapi slumps forward a little and Shige straightens him.
"Shigeh."
"Why is it that cab drivers constantly complain about having no passengers but are never around when you need them?"
"…I really likes you."
"Um, thanks."
"No, no, I really really likes you."
Shige doesn't say anything for a while. He's afraid that if he does, the only word that would slip out – in unintended loudness – would be what?
… …
Somewhere along the way, the message was improperly decoded.
Yamapi watches as Shige lengthens the distance between them, inch by inch and silence by silence. It's almost as though they've gone back three years to a time when Kato Shigeaki was only a name to make up eight names and Yamashita Tomohisa was a name that outstripped the others.
He wonders which part of I really like you did Shige not understand.
… …
"Shige's got a mind block sort of thing," says Koyama. "You have to convince him that you really like him or he'll think it's drunken talk."
"Do you think he's open to me liking him, though?"
Koyama fiddles with his fingers for a bit. Yamapi's about to tell him that it's okay, the truth is fine, there's no need to make up half-lies, but then Koyama looks up and says, "He is. He just doesn't think you would ever like him."
Yamapi's about to smile, almost about to laugh, when Ryo says, "Don't make a fool out of yourself, Pi."
… …
He remembers the first time they met. They were filming one of those 'worst dates' thing and he'd been thinking I'll be completely overshadowed by Yamashita-kun! which, of course, he was. With a vengeance. For years nobody remembered that he'd even been in Yamapi's Worst Date.
There's nothing special to remember about that filming. Yamapi had been working hard at his lines and expressions, talking more to the director than to Shige himself. Shige wasn't sure if Yamapi even noticed him, save for the times they acted opposite each other.
And then they were in NEWS together, Yamapi in the very forefront with the microphone talking to the hosts, and Shige right at the back of any seating arrangement and dance formation, hoping that he'd be on screen for 1/1000 of the time NEWS was on TV.
It's ridiculous, isn't it, that someone who has always been in the middle of the spotlight could truly like someone who stands at least three members away from it?
The problem is, Yamapi's telling him right now that it's not ridiculous. That no matter what restrictions or levels the Jimusho imposes upon them, they're still only two guys, and somehow, somewhere along the five years of hesitant smiles and late working nights and birthday drinks and bawdy jokes, Tomohisa has fallen for Shigeaki.
Shige doesn't know what to make of it.
… …
Maybe it's true though.
Maybe, if he looks closer, it's been true for a really long time.
It makes him feel ridiculously light-headed.
… …
"You know what they say about fools?" Shige says on the phone one day when they're still in the 'experimenting' stage.
"No, what do 'they' say?" Yamapi asks.
" 'They' say that we would really be foolish to do this. It's like hanging a placard around our necks asking for shit from the Jimusho."
"So can we be fools?"
"I'm still wondering…"
"Being a fool can be useful. You need to be a fool to get some things done."
"Do you think we are?"
"If anything, we're being too logical."
… …
It's eight o' clock, or slightly after, when Shige calls again.
So, he says. Don't know why I'm doing this. I guess a fool never really does know what he's doing, huh?
There's a short pause, then Shige laughs a little. Come over? There's only me at my place. And home-cooked omurice, if you can bear to eat it.
Yamapi smiles at the self-consciousness in Shige's voice. Says he'll be there in half an hour.
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Date: 2009-03-24 01:05 am (UTC)Drunken talk is totally fun :D