[identity profile] catskilt.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] jewelledhours
Title: Forgive me, for I am dead
Character: Gisaburo from Byakkotai (Tanaka Koki)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] misticloud
Rating: G
Words: 611
Summary: Gisaburo wonders about the worth of honour and pride.
Note: As can be seen from the drama this is from, it was written a really long time ago!



Forgive me, for I am dead.

I looked out on the city, and saw nothing but smoke; I searched in vain for signs of living, but saw only ruins.

I had traveled far, through marshy land and rushing waters, my weapons a burden lying against me, my stomach growling for food.

I remembered the touch of my mother’s hand against my cheek, her voice singing my childhood song…how I had detested that song until I realized its comfort!, the smile in her eyes as she told me, “I’ll stand by your side in whichever road you choose.”

It all seems so very long ago, like a misty faraway dream that has no connection with reality.

And, from hereon, it will never again have any connection with my reality.

I have died with honour, while yet feeling myself disgraced. We knelt on the hillside and bowed to the symbol of our incompetence. Dear Mother, I never wanted to die. I said and believed that I did, but you know, till that moment, Mother darling, I didn’t want to die.

I was only seventeen years old. I hadn’t even lived.

How can one die if one has not yet lived?

I wanted to be an adult, to know what it was like to look down on a group of young teenagers and feel myself their superior. I wanted to marry and have children, and feel their warm arms around my neck. I wanted to work and bring back enough money to let Mother live in comfort for the rest of her life.

I wanted so much, and now I have so little.

They say pride and honour are the best things a person can carry with him to his death, but Mother, it doesn’t feed mouths nor give you a sense of satisfaction of having taken your stab at life and lived it to the fullest.

They say that we will be remembered for the next few hundred years, but although we will be remembered, nobody will be able to give us back our lives.

I was once alive.

I sat on the scratchy wooden boards of a house in the middle of stone-cold wintry night and watched a young woman tend to my wounded leg. She put her lips to my skin…I will never forget that sensation…and sucked away the poison that the dog’s teeth had dug into me. I saw the blood that stained her lips…my blood…a part of me on her. And then she looked at me and smiled and said not to tell anyone, and I knew that I was alive, and oh, it was good to be alive.

Mother, members of Byakkotai, living citizens in Aitzu, can you give that back to me?

Forgive me, for I will know that you will cry when you tell me that no, what has been taken away can never be given back.

Forgive me, Mineji, for I wanted to be your friend till old age. I wanted to sit at a table with you and drink sake and laugh because we were so old that we couldn’t help nodding off even while talking.

Forgive me, Sayako, for not speaking to you at every opportunity that I had. I wanted to hear your voice, responding to mine. I wanted to reciprocate your touch with mine. But the dead have neither voice nor touch, and I cannot reach you.

I hear the song. Sleep well, Gisaburo, when you wake up, I’ll let you eat dango…

I want to sing that song, Mother. Forgive me because I can’t.

But, most of all, forgive me, for I wanted to live, and now I am dead.


end




Title: An Ordinary Night of Woe
Characters: Various JE drama personalities including Shuuji and Akira, Sakaki Makio, Domyouji Tsukasa, Asou Haruto, Ishida Yuya, etc.
Author: [livejournal.com profile] misticloud
Rating: G
Words: 1,638
Summary: On a particular night at a particular club, several lovelorn and slightly confused heroes discuss the intricacies of their lives.
Warnings: Written a long while back, so the dramas are slightly outdated.



An Ordinary Night of Woe

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Domyouji Tsukasa from Hana Yori Dango
Sawada Shin from Gokusen
Asou Haruto from One Litre of Tears
Sakaki Makio from My Boss My Hero
Shuuji and Akira from Nobuta wo Produce
Kurosaki from Kurosagi
Kurosawa Hikaru from Majo no Jouken
Iwase Ken from Proposal Daisakusen
Momo from Kimi wa Petto
Kurosawa-kun from Anego
Ishida Yuya from Sapuri

Guest starring Akira (HYD) and the embroidering sidekick of Aniki


It was easy to tell when Domyouji Tsukasa was in a bad mood. Striding along, his brows set in a huge frown, his curls bouncing about in time to his walking rhythm, it was a sure sign that all sensible people should keep out his way and stay there.

Mimasaka Akira was sensible, but he’d been charged with the duty of making sure that nothing happened to Tsukasa. Akira didn’t understand why, out of the three long-suffering F4-minus-Domyouji, he had been the one chosen to tail their bad-tempered leader, but as it was his job as a friend cum busybody, he sagged his shoulders in resignation and followed along.

He hadn’t meant to speak a single word the entire evening until Tsukasa showed signs of cheering up, but he jumped slightly when he saw that his friend was headed directly for a certain club up the street.

Akira cleared his throat in panic. “Uh, Tsukasa…”

Domyouji whirled round and glared at him. “WHAT?!”

In future, Akira would always applaud himself for his courage…though remembering, at the same time, that it hadn’t really done much good. “I don’t think we should go in there. You know, it’s where all the…uh…lovelorn heroes gather.”

“What bond heroes? Shut up or I’ll finish YOU off.”

“Uh,” Akira began again, but Domyouji had already turned back and started up the street at a deliberately faster speed. Akira had no choice but to scurry along behind.

There was someone else coming from the opposite direction, also headed for the club. Domyouji stopped when he saw him. “Sawada Shin.”

Akira heaved a sigh of relief when he heard the slightly-less-than-angry tone in Domyouji’s voice. At least, the sight of old friends always thawed the curly-haired tornado out.

Sawada Shin nodded in recognition, his sharp eyes noting the sullen look on Domyouji’s face. “What’s wrong with you?”

Tsukasa narrowed his eyes. “Life.”

Sawada gave an understanding half-smile.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in Africa?” Tsukasa asked. “Why are you back here?”

“Life,” Sawada answered laconically.

The two life-weary men entered the club, with Akira tagging along behind.

A solitary man sat at the bar, a glass of gin and tonic before him. He looked up as Sawada and Domyouji walked in.

“Come join me,” he invited, gesturing to the seats beside him.

Domyouji’s mood was further appeased at the sight of him. “Asou-san. How is Aya-chan?”

Asou rubbed his bloodshot eyes wearily. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think she’s getting better, but even then I know that it’s useless to hope.”

“I know what you mean,” said Kurosawa Hikaru from behind. “When I see Sensei lying on that bed, sometimes I think that she’ll never wake up.”

I wish that my old witch would never wake up,” said Domyouji aggrievedly. His sympathetic listeners turned to him and urged him to explain. “She has made Makino’s family bankrupt again, disowned me, fired her secretary for supporting me, made Ken pretend to commit suicide before me, forced me into working for her stupid corporation, kept Makino and I apart, arranged for a monkey girl to be my fiancée…”

Hikaru began to feel that his own mother was not quite so bad after all, and his face brightened.

“This is youth,” said Sakaki Makio, dreamily. “A bright, vibrant youth! Let’s aim for a great school life, everyone!”

“Kon-kon!” said Kusano Akira excitedly. “Let’s think positively, Mak-ki-kun~!”

Both Makki-kun~ and Akira started to think positively. Evidently they thought nice things, because silly grins immediately burst out on their faces.

“While those two wax lyrical,” said Kurosaki, entering the conversation rather abruptly with a shot of whiskey held carelessly in his hand, “let me bring us back into the reality of life. No matter how positively you think, circumstances aren't going to change." Asou and Hikaru exchanged looks. "Especially if you have persistent people who won't let you go and insist on following you around."

“Like yourself, Kurosaki-san?” Sawada said perceptively.

“That ugly girl of yours keeps running after you shouting at you not to swindle anymore,” Domyouji roared.

Kurosaki remained unruffled, though it was clear that he'd shuddered a little. “That is not the point. The point is…”

“I know it!” cried Akira (HYD) excitedly.

Everyone ignored him.

“The point is,” Kurosaki continued, “that we must protect ourselves from the blows that life direct at us. We mustn't allow our weaknesses such as emotions affect us. If you dwell less on your emotions, you will find that life will be easier to bear…"

“Er, actually,” said Kiritani Shuuji hesitatingly, “I kind of, well, think that life treats me pretty well as it is.” He glanced over to where Akira and Makki-kun~ were trying to compete in positive thinking.

“And so,” Kurosaki resumed, sending a look of steel over at Shuuji to show him what exactly he thought of that untimely interruption, “grow up and be men. Men face trials in life, boys don’t.”

The next minute, Domyouji was out of his chair and onto Kurosaki’s face. “YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT ORE-SAMA IS A BOY?!” he yelled into the swindler’s face.

“Wait, Tsu…” Akira (HYD) began, uncertainly.

“Perhaps you might be a girl?” Kurosaki responded, scowling at Tsukasa.

Domyouji made no sign of hearing Akira (HYD)’s pleas as he dragged Kurosaki out of the club.

“He may philosophize all he likes,” said Sawada seriously, “but he hurts inside, all the same.”

Yowls floated in from the outside, where Domyouji and Kurosaki were presumably hurting each other, both inside and out.

“In the meanwhile,” said Ishida Yuya, “if anyone could give me some good ideas on how to woo my love interest, Fuji Minami, I would be really appreciative.”

“Details, details,” perked Akira (HYD), delightedly.

“Well, she’s sort of like, older than me, and I call her 'older sister', and she’s a lot more highly ranked than me in the company, and she’s like, a powerhouse woman…”

“That sounds like Sumire-chan!” exclaimed Momo.

Yuya looked at Momo, who was decked out in an endearing blue scarf, striped shirt, and loose light blue pants. “Do I have to dress like that to catch her attention?”

“Well, actually,” Momo hesitated, “maybe my attire isn’t the best thing to follow because she treats me as a pet. Also, she has a fiancé.”

“Let me guess,” said Yuya, “tall, supposedly handsome, intelligent, older, with a bright career?”

“EXACTLY,” said Kurosawa-kun, who had been listening intently to the conversation. “Just like the guy Anego is having an affair with.”

“What is with you guys and older women?” Makki-kun~ said, puzzled. “Here am I trying to think of a way not to fall in love with a minor.”

“Actually, I…” Akira (HYD) started, raising his hand.

“Am I the only one who likes someone my own age?” Akira-kon asked in curiosity.

Yuya, Momo, and Kurosawa-kun looked at each other for a moment. Then, by unspoken agreement, the three of them rose and left to a dark corner where they could confabulate about wild courting schemes together.

“…maybe I should say ‘okaerinasai’ whenever she comes home?...”

‘…no, no, buy her a bottle of wine…”

“…kiss! Kiss!...”

“…I’ve slept with her already!...”

“Either you or she must have been dead drunk.”

“…vending machine always works. Trust me…”

“…but what to do about the tall, supposedly handsome, intelligent, bright-career, older love rivals?...”

A little silence fell upon the company of three, and the main party, which had been trying to listen in on their conversation, turned back to their own matters at hand. Outside, Domyouji and Kurosaki had ceased yowling.

“Oh,” said Hikaru. “I have to rush. Sensei will miss me if I'm not there to hold her hand.”

"I need to go to the hospital too," said Asou. "I'm up to diary six and I really want to know what she wrote in no.7."

Sawada got up. “I should go, too. I came back to see Yankumi, but somehow I ended up here instead.”

The three serious-minded boys left the club.

Akira (HYD) turned to Shuuji, Akira, and Makki-kun~.

“Let’s order another round of dr…”

“Oh, damn it,” Makki-kun~ said in frustration. “I’ve got a gang fight scheduled for today. If I don’t go, that damn Mikio is gonna get my position, that midget!” He roared into the bartender’s face for a moment, then Sakaki Makio rushed out of the bar.

They heard an eager voice piping outside, “Aniki! There you are! Let’s go! Here’s your jacket! I hand-embroidered some sakura flowers on it, so…!”

“You know what?” said Shuuji to Akira. “I think Nobuta should be back home by now.”

Akira checked his watch. “Yeah, she should’ve finished walking home. Nobuta PA-WA chyuunyu!”

The two best friends hopped off their seats and made their way to the door. They turned to look at the solitary man seated at the bar. “Bye-bye-cycle!” They sang cheerfully, then walked out.

Akira (HYD) sighed for a moment into his glass. But a moment and no longer, because, almost immediately, a harassed looking young man burst into the bar. “WHERE IS REI?!” he shouted.

“Eh?” Akira stared, then recognized him. “Oh, Ken. You know, I just finished reading the ‘Time Traveler’s Wife’ and I find it interesting that you time travel with all your clothes on…”

“I’ve just run all the way from the company and oh my god that Tada-sensei is gonna propose to her today and my boss wouldn’t let me off from selling stupid whiteboards and I’ve got to propose to her before he does because this is like, my last hallelujah chance because it’s the last photo and DAMN IT WHERE IS SHE?!”

“Er, not here.”

Ken spun round and charged out.

Akira was alone again. He tapped his finger against his glass, wondered why there weren’t any girls in this bar for lovelorn heroes, remembered his non-yowling friend outside, then paid the bill and left.


end



A/N: Idea for the story is credited to Elspeth, whose wonderful ‘At the Club’ I found at The Republic of Pemberley.

Date: 2009-03-20 10:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ky-rin.livejournal.com
I feel like you've watched one too many dramas (or subbed them). What can I feed you for more drama crossovers like that? HILARIOUS COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING. I love your funny ♥

Date: 2009-03-21 06:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ky-rin.livejournal.com
*suspicious*

...What Toma/NEWS?

AHH I want to devour dramas. :|

Date: 2009-03-21 12:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonbyrd.livejournal.com
sdkfskjhfgs Gisaburo T_____T His whole story just killed me but at least he had a good, happy existence. T__________T

There are a couple of doramas here that I haven't seen but :DDDDD anyway!! I love the idea of AKIRA and Makio getting into a "positive!" competition. <3

Date: 2009-03-21 06:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] binmusic.livejournal.com
"I need to go to the hospital too," said Asou. "I'm up to diary six and I really want to know what she wrote in no.7."
LOL BOO! I seriously choked snorting at that. The entire piece has that dry and underlying sarcastic humor. I love you ♥ ♥ And this did cheer me up a bit!

Date: 2009-03-21 10:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aikomidori.livejournal.com
Kurosagi and Domyouji yowling at each other = WIN XDDD I've watched all those dramas (oh god, what does that say about my social life..or lack thereof....) except My Boss My Hero :/

Date: 2009-03-22 03:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aikomidori.livejournal.com
I-I-I-I...I will watch it sometime in the near future? *shifty* <_<

Date: 2009-12-14 01:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] allodole.livejournal.com
Someone who has written a Byakkotai-ficlet, I salute you! That story is just so incredibly sad and and Gisaburo. ;_; *dies*

Laughing at the second, oh, crossovers.. :D ♥

Date: 2009-12-14 11:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] allodole.livejournal.com
I was searching through jent_fanfics because I was bored and ran into this. :D

Date: 2010-03-29 08:34 am (UTC)
ext_156784: (Default)
From: [identity profile] badbatazz.livejournal.com
this has like every single guy that i know. i love this.

Profile

jewelledhours: (Default)
Jewelled Hours

September 2013

S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
151617181920 21
2223 2425262728
2930     

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 21st, 2025 08:09 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios