Can't properly formulate a comment! DDD: Brain is overloaded by biochemistry and pyruvate dehydrogenase deficiency. So here goes a lame attempt of epic comment D:
First off, time line was fine. I understood perfectly lol. And god I can't wait for Shige's story. You're revealing more about their relationship, how it started and I just, I really want to squeeze and hug Ryo. This chapter is obviously Ryo-centric since it's still his part of the story, and the way you go through his feelings about Shige and about his life so far, it's sort of sad in a way. Not your usual angst but still with a melancholic air. We know that they don't last and you telling us how Ryo felt with Shige during these moments, how his feelings progressively turned from awkwardness to interest and finally to something he knew could be more, it's sad boo DD:
Loneliness was a state, not a feeling, because feelings come and go but states remain longer than you can fight them. This is Ryo and his life before Shige and his life after Shige as well. And it's true, for someone like Ryo who doesn't have a family and who runs away from home, loneliness isn't fleeting, it remains and stays with him. I get the feeling from this that loneliness is always a part of Ryo's life, probably even when he was with Shige, it was just dulled then by his happiness.
There was something wonderful hanging just on the edge, he could feel it lingering there, wonderful and tentative and crazy and potentially heartbreaking, and when he looked at Shige he could see the fear of it in Shige's eyes...Looking back now, Ryo thought that was possibly the moment when Shige began fighting. When you first snippeted this part to me, the last sentence really stuck with me. Shige fighting. I can't be sure because you still haven't revealed Shige's side of the story yet and how he felt about their relationship, but I do remember you alluding to it before that it's always been Shige who fears and anticipates heartbreak. He knows the ramifications of their relationship, the effects it would have on his family and Ryo's career and he's the one who's logical whereas Ryo is the one all passion and emotions. Ack, write more ! Now! :D I am demanding.
Eh, there's probably more I can quote but I've got to get back to arsenic poisoning boo D: I'll talk to you about this when you sign on msn :DD Until then, work on your next chapter! And my smut !
no subject
First off, time line was fine. I understood perfectly lol. And god I can't wait for Shige's story. You're revealing more about their relationship, how it started and I just, I really want to squeeze and hug Ryo. This chapter is obviously Ryo-centric since it's still his part of the story, and the way you go through his feelings about Shige and about his life so far, it's sort of sad in a way. Not your usual angst but still with a melancholic air. We know that they don't last and you telling us how Ryo felt with Shige during these moments, how his feelings progressively turned from awkwardness to interest and finally to something he knew could be more, it's sad boo DD:
Loneliness was a state, not a feeling, because feelings come and go but states remain longer than you can fight them.
This is Ryo and his life before Shige and his life after Shige as well. And it's true, for someone like Ryo who doesn't have a family and who runs away from home, loneliness isn't fleeting, it remains and stays with him. I get the feeling from this that loneliness is always a part of Ryo's life, probably even when he was with Shige, it was just dulled then by his happiness.
There was something wonderful hanging just on the edge, he could feel it lingering there, wonderful and tentative and crazy and potentially heartbreaking, and when he looked at Shige he could see the fear of it in Shige's eyes...Looking back now, Ryo thought that was possibly the moment when Shige began fighting.
When you first snippeted this part to me, the last sentence really stuck with me. Shige fighting. I can't be sure because you still haven't revealed Shige's side of the story yet and how he felt about their relationship, but I do remember you alluding to it before that it's always been Shige who fears and anticipates heartbreak. He knows the ramifications of their relationship, the effects it would have on his family and Ryo's career and he's the one who's logical whereas Ryo is the one all passion and emotions. Ack, write more ! Now! :D I am demanding.
Eh, there's probably more I can quote but I've got to get back to arsenic poisoning boo D: I'll talk to you about this when you sign on msn :DD Until then, work on your next chapter! And my smut !
♥ ♥ ♥