I should be happy, right? Because it's so perfect and there is no heartbreak, and Donghae didn't fuck this random guy and he is on ease with Hyukjae, and he isn't crying nor he is in despair.. I should be happy, I know it. But somehow it's still sad.
I was sort of, kind of expecting it. I thought he would get to this point where all his emotions cools down and he can see beyond his blinding desires.. (I just thought that you would make it in sadder way, but you didn't; you made it like perfectly growing up to deep feelings of him). The thing is... I pretty much like blind Donghae :D I just got used to this side of him and I'm still refusing to acknowledge his adult-like feelings toward... everything. (Ok, I know I'm sounding like teenage/hormones take over myself/childish girl now, but I hope this at least shows how I appreciate your through-whole-eight-chapters Donghae.. You made this to me, you know, it's your fault!;))
Anyway, I'm really happy that this isn't worse, in sense of heartbreaking, because now they can somehow move on with their (or at least Donghae's) new, stronger and easier feelings, soulmates thing and I-will-be-your-friend-forever thing. The thing that saddens me the most is that this is what everyone was expecting from him. I'm not even mentioning Jungsu or whatever, because it's obvious but Hyukjae wanted it, right? He wanted them to be like this, this calmer version of them that they can fit into everything else. And it's sad how it seems to be not the compromise, but convincing or even making Donghae to be like this. He needed to grow up, everybody said. There was no room for his burning and flaming feelings and there still is no room for it. And still, Donghae is the one who tells both to himself and to Hyukjae that he will be with him forever, even only as a friend if it's what Hyukjae needs, and writes a love song about him.. Doesn't it sound sad? He's like this loyal puppy, which can be anything the owner wants and he changes for him (not mention those all years of waiting with his feeling closed shut). What I'm trying to say is that would be nice if Hyukjae once in a while could do something more obvious to show his feelings.. I know he is a man of few words, not really dramatic person, but it would be just nice, you know, to have something more than "Donghae knows Hyukjae loves him." It occurred me actually before, especially during the last chapter that they are not really equal with their feelings. There was this moment when Donghae was talking to Junsu and... "He may very well be Hyukjae's boyfriend, may be the one sleeping with him and dreaming of a future with him, but Junsu is Hyukjae's oldest and most cherished friend, and if push comes to shove Donghae wouldn't put it past Hyukjae to choose Junsu over him." That broke my heart, because it would be just nice to see that Donghae is the most important person for Hyukjae as well..
Ok, I'm over analyzing everything, right? Sorry, but it's your fault to write such a good and convincing piece of fanfiction! :)
I also wanted to take this moment to appreciate this little part when Donghae told Siwon about their relationship and how easy it went. I could totally see them talking like this because I really like Siwon and that's it:)
Oh girl, there are so many things that I could tell you about this chapter, about every little part, because it's amazing how you write and put those emotions in simple sentences, but it's mostly because I really like to talk and my comments goes and goes to no ending rambling... I'm happy to find this part so soon because this is really great thing and waiting impatiently for more :)
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I was sort of, kind of expecting it. I thought he would get to this point where all his emotions cools down and he can see beyond his blinding desires.. (I just thought that you would make it in sadder way, but you didn't; you made it like perfectly growing up to deep feelings of him). The thing is... I pretty much like blind Donghae :D I just got used to this side of him and I'm still refusing to acknowledge his adult-like feelings toward... everything. (Ok, I know I'm sounding like teenage/hormones take over myself/childish girl now, but I hope this at least shows how I appreciate your through-whole-eight-chapters Donghae.. You made this to me, you know, it's your fault!;))
Anyway, I'm really happy that this isn't worse, in sense of heartbreaking, because now they can somehow move on with their (or at least Donghae's) new, stronger and easier feelings, soulmates thing and I-will-be-your-friend-forever thing. The thing that saddens me the most is that this is what everyone was expecting from him. I'm not even mentioning Jungsu or whatever, because it's obvious but Hyukjae wanted it, right? He wanted them to be like this, this calmer version of them that they can fit into everything else. And it's sad how it seems to be not the compromise, but convincing or even making Donghae to be like this. He needed to grow up, everybody said. There was no room for his burning and flaming feelings and there still is no room for it. And still, Donghae is the one who tells both to himself and to Hyukjae that he will be with him forever, even only as a friend if it's what Hyukjae needs, and writes a love song about him.. Doesn't it sound sad? He's like this loyal puppy, which can be anything the owner wants and he changes for him (not mention those all years of waiting with his feeling closed shut). What I'm trying to say is that would be nice if Hyukjae once in a while could do something more obvious to show his feelings.. I know he is a man of few words, not really dramatic person, but it would be just nice, you know, to have something more than "Donghae knows Hyukjae loves him." It occurred me actually before, especially during the last chapter that they are not really equal with their feelings. There was this moment when Donghae was talking to Junsu and... "He may very well be Hyukjae's boyfriend, may be the one sleeping with him and dreaming of a future with him, but Junsu is Hyukjae's oldest and most cherished friend, and if push comes to shove Donghae wouldn't put it past Hyukjae to choose Junsu over him." That broke my heart, because it would be just nice to see that Donghae is the most important person for Hyukjae as well..
Ok, I'm over analyzing everything, right? Sorry, but it's your fault to write such a good and convincing piece of fanfiction! :)
I also wanted to take this moment to appreciate this little part when Donghae told Siwon about their relationship and how easy it went. I could totally see them talking like this because I really like Siwon and that's it:)
Oh girl, there are so many things that I could tell you about this chapter, about every little part, because it's amazing how you write and put those emotions in simple sentences, but it's mostly because I really like to talk and my comments goes and goes to no ending rambling... I'm happy to find this part so soon because this is really great thing and waiting impatiently for more :)