You already know that I love the whole Tim Burton-esque feel of this fic. Or maybe that's just my Big Fish sensibilities getting to me. But in any case the reminiscing, narrative feel of it is lovely and I do think you have a very unique writing style (regardless of the lack of confidence where dialogue is concerned). Stuff I liked about this chapter: the "jumping you" scene of course XD because it is cute and Ryo stepping on Shige's foot seems very much like what he would do! And of course Shige's epic fail (as always). I can't help but think the "small brown box" held a condom in it.
I like all the little details you provide and in particular the description or similarity you drew about Shige and the "cracked figurine". It's intriguing and I really want to know what is wrong with Shige and what Ryo saw in him. Shige's popularity in the town is a definite plus :D though the whole generic-ness about him is another interesting point and you're making me wonder whether he had a sad family life or did his whole family die through some disaster DD: Stop making me try to second-guess, boo! And you dare to say I'm a tease!
And then the bit about Ryo's own sad family life. Now it seems like Shige and Ryo are drawn together due to a common factor and I can't wait to find out what it is. It's sad that Ryo kept his house just as it was, including all the broken and cracked bits of it. It's like he doesn't want to move on from his past and just hopes that eventually his mum will come back and everything will be the same.
YOU LEFT US WITH A TEASER. Does the real story begin now? I really admire how you can just write paragraphs and paragraphs of narration and it still remains fresh and interesting! I don't feel the lack of dialogue and all the characters are strong and vivid. There's something about this fic that's almost fantasy-like. Again, very Tim Burton-esque XDD I can imagine the neat rows of coloured houses and husbands mowing the lawns with wives going marketing...and then you get the crooked out of place object that is Ryo. Throw a Shige into the mix and there you have it, a story of win! :DDD
This is probably one of the longest comments I have ever written. You are a bad influence on me. ILU nonetheless <3333
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2009-01-18 10:04 am (UTC)You already know that I love the whole Tim Burton-esque feel of this fic. Or maybe that's just my Big Fish sensibilities getting to me. But in any case the reminiscing, narrative feel of it is lovely and I do think you have a very unique writing style (regardless of the lack of confidence where dialogue is concerned). Stuff I liked about this chapter: the "jumping you" scene of course XD because it is cute and Ryo stepping on Shige's foot seems very much like what he would do! And of course Shige's epic fail (as always).
I can't help but think the "small brown box" held a condom in it.I like all the little details you provide and in particular the description or similarity you drew about Shige and the "cracked figurine". It's intriguing and I really want to know what is wrong with Shige and what Ryo saw in him. Shige's popularity in the town is a definite plus :D though the whole generic-ness about him is another interesting point and you're making me wonder whether he had a sad family life or did his whole family die through some disaster DD: Stop making me try to second-guess, boo! And you dare to say I'm a tease!
And then the bit about Ryo's own sad family life. Now it seems like Shige and Ryo are drawn together due to a common factor and I can't wait to find out what it is. It's sad that Ryo kept his house just as it was, including all the broken and cracked bits of it. It's like he doesn't want to move on from his past and just hopes that eventually his mum will come back and everything will be the same.
YOU LEFT US WITH A TEASER. Does the real story begin now? I really admire how you can just write paragraphs and paragraphs of narration and it still remains fresh and interesting! I don't feel the lack of dialogue and all the characters are strong and vivid. There's something about this fic that's almost fantasy-like. Again, very Tim Burton-esque XDD I can imagine the neat rows of coloured houses and husbands mowing the lawns with wives going marketing...and then you get the crooked out of place object that is Ryo. Throw a Shige into the mix and there you have it, a story of win! :DDD
This is probably one of the longest comments I have ever written. You are a bad influence on me. ILU nonetheless <3333