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jewelledhoursTitle: The commons of water coolers and babies
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
catskilt
Pairing: Koyama/Yamapi, Ryo/Shige
Rating: PG-13
Remix of: perhaps is the cut, suture and close of a jib and possibility is not telling the world bylightstylings
Summary: Tegoshi, deputy head of psychology, psychoanalyses his colleagues.
Note: Beta-read bybinmusic and posted for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
jentfic_remix. I realised that I hadn't cross-posted it in this comm, so here it is for safe-keeping :)
Tegoshi Yuya really likes his line of work.
Aside from not being directly in contact with the hospital's patients until they're sane and whole enough to hold proper conversations, he gets free lollipops – most of which he keeps as his private stash since the people whom he gives the lollipops to probably throws them away – and implicit knowledge about all the dirt in the staff department. It's not his fault that he has been educated in ferreting out people's thoughts and motives without them having to say a word. Besides, he doesn't divulge information, ever, unless someone gets him really drunk during water cooler bonding conversations.
Speaking of water coolers, Kato from Human Resources has rung him up a couple of times with requests for him to analyse the water cooler standing in the corner of his office. Tegoshi didn't get why he would be summoned – if there was something wrong with the water cooler, shouldn't Kato place his call to Engineering instead? – but it fell into place when Kato explained that Nishikido from Radiology has a strange and all-consuming interest in the Human Resources water cooler.
"Maybe there's something about the water, maybe someone sugared the pipes?" Kato debated, then did a mental headshake. "If so, I would be tasting something different about the water, but I'm not. So it has to be a psychological thing. Come down and see what you can deduce about it, will you?"
Tegoshi can think of far better ways to spend an afternoon than analysing a mysteriously attractive water cooler in the Human Resources office, but since Kato's a good guy and gets bullied around enough by Nishikido, he drops by later on in the day. Unsurprisingly, Nishikido is lounging on the couch in Kato's office reading – or apparently reading – some magazine while Kato's half-vanished behind a stack of paperwork. Tegoshi pauses by the door.
"…nametags," Kato is saying with an edge in his voice. "I just got a brand new batch of them from the supplier yesterday and guess what I discovered this morning?"
"Do tell," Nishikido drawls.
"I had this glossy nametag for the new guy up on the fourth floor with Koyama and the babies which originally said 'Assistant Consultant'. What do you think it says now?"
"From my limited repertoire of wordplays, I would imagine A-S-S C-U…"
"I would almost respect your one-track mind if it didn't cause me so much trouble."
"You definitely respected my one-track mind last night."
"So tell me, Nishikido-sensei, just how much time did you spend scraping out those alphabets?"
Nishikido looks up, all eyes and lashes. "As much time as I spent thinking about your…"
Tegoshi coughs discreetly and raps on the door. "Kato-san, I don't think there's anything psychologically wrong with your water cooler. If you'd like, though, you could read up on the studies done by William Masters and Virginia Johnson on the human sexual response."
"How can my water cooler have a sexual res…" Kato stops abruptly and both Tegoshi and Nishikido grin at how rapidly his ears turn red.
"Your water cooler is one of a kind," Nishikido says fondly.
The last thing Tegoshi hears as he takes his leave is Kato saying, "In any case, the puppy's really going to get it the next time you mutilate nametags."
"You're blushing, pumpkin pie."
"You should really start moving away from French pastry."
"And you're blushing even more, my brown little dorayaki."
Since it doesn't seem like Kato will be informing the new guy up with Koyama-and-the-babies anytime soon about the status of his nametag, Tegoshi goes to find him instead. He's learned through experience that new colleagues usually respond well to doe eyes and sweet smiles. But when Tegoshi wanders in through the door of the maternity ward, the new guy is nowhere to be found and the only people in sight are Koyama, Yamashita, and the babies in their pink and blue cots.
Yamashita must have some kind of magical touch, Tegoshi thinks admiringly, watching as a baby squalling in Koyama's arms quietens down the moment Yamashita touches him with hands that have performed award-winning moves in surgeries. Koyama gazes at Yamashita as though he's an angel sent from heaven to soothe screaming babies. Tegoshi almost regrets that he's about to interrupt them, but he did come all the way from Kato's bottom floor office to the fourth floor maternity ward and it would be such a waste to walk away.
"Hi people!" he says, picking up the baby nearest to him and moving across to Koyama and Yamashita. The baby coos contentedly against his chest and Tegoshi smiles at the display of affection, really, it's so blatant that everybody loves him.
"Tegoshi-san," Koyama greets. "Where did you come from?"
"The Human Resources office. Kato-san asked me to do a check-up on his water cooler."
"That's an interesting specimen of a water cooler," Yamashita says with a happy kind of smile on his face that hadn't surfaced until Koyama happened. "It holds a very strong attraction for our expert radiologist."
"I would recommend to Kato-san that he dismantle it for reinstallation in Nishikido-sensei's office, but I have a feeling Nishikido-sensei would veto that idea very strongly," Tegoshi says cheerfully.
Koyama giggles and they shift the talk to the babies. This one has a 17-year-old mother and a 54-year-old father ("December and May," says Koyama; "Yes, like December 1950 and May 2001," Yamashita rejoins), that one had to be delivered by C-section (no matter how long he works in a hospital, Tegoshi still can't help but think that C-sections sound particularly brutal), the other one over there was premature by three weeks and took eight hours to deliver; all manner of baby gossip until Yamashita's pager beeps. He stands aside to make a quick phone call and then comes back with a slight knot of annoyance between his eyebrows.
"Have to run," he says, replacing his baby into the cot. "Some guy just got wheeled into A&E with food poisoning. He didn't realise the milk had expired two months ago."
"Examine his sense of smell while you're at it," Tegoshi advises.
"Take care," Koyama says.
Yamashita looks around for a moment; the maternity ward is full of windows and there's always someone outside. But he takes the chance and brushes his lips against Koyama's cheek anyway, and Tegoshi thinks he would avert his eyes if it wasn't so fascinating.
"Bye," Yamashita says, and leaves.
A baby snorts in sleep and Tegoshi watches as Koyama bends down to examine her. "Doesn't it ever bother you?" he asks curiously. "When Yamashita-sensei is called away any time of the day and you're left waiting for him?"
Koyama shrugs. "I waited two months for him, remember?"
"Yeah, but there's a difference between waiting two months when he's comatose and two hours when he's not."
Koyama just smiles happily as he pats his baby's back. "It would bother me if it wasn't worth the wait, but it is, so I just get myself used to it. I'm fine with the way things are."
Later, on his way back to the office, Tegoshi steals a biscuit out of Masuda the catering guy's food cart and munches on it while ruminating over his love-struck colleagues. They'll be okay, he decides, even though Yamashita's fascination with Koyama's babies stems from the same root as Nishikido's attraction to Kato's water cooler, and Kato and Nishikido's idea of love is maiming each other while Yamashita and Koyama could knock out teeth with their sweetness.
Then he looks seriously at his biscuit. "This is really salty."
"Of course, it's meant to be," says Masuda, smiling at him. "Patients' taste buds are dull, you know. The saltiness is to perk them up a little."
"Not everyone's taste buds are dull," Tegoshi objects, but Masuda is already trundling off, whistling a cheery tune.
The biscuit proves unsatisfactory, so he further treats himself to a couple of lollipops for having done good psychological work that day. Just before he knocks off, he emails Kato with a couple of links about Masters and Johnson's pioneering study on sexual arousal just in case Kato forgets to do his own research. He's sure Kato will appreciate.
end
Author:
catskiltPairing: Koyama/Yamapi, Ryo/Shige
Rating: PG-13
Remix of: perhaps is the cut, suture and close of a jib and possibility is not telling the world by
lightstylingsSummary: Tegoshi, deputy head of psychology, psychoanalyses his colleagues.
Note: Beta-read by
binmusic and posted for jentfic_remix. I realised that I hadn't cross-posted it in this comm, so here it is for safe-keeping :)Tegoshi Yuya really likes his line of work.
Aside from not being directly in contact with the hospital's patients until they're sane and whole enough to hold proper conversations, he gets free lollipops – most of which he keeps as his private stash since the people whom he gives the lollipops to probably throws them away – and implicit knowledge about all the dirt in the staff department. It's not his fault that he has been educated in ferreting out people's thoughts and motives without them having to say a word. Besides, he doesn't divulge information, ever, unless someone gets him really drunk during water cooler bonding conversations.
Speaking of water coolers, Kato from Human Resources has rung him up a couple of times with requests for him to analyse the water cooler standing in the corner of his office. Tegoshi didn't get why he would be summoned – if there was something wrong with the water cooler, shouldn't Kato place his call to Engineering instead? – but it fell into place when Kato explained that Nishikido from Radiology has a strange and all-consuming interest in the Human Resources water cooler.
"Maybe there's something about the water, maybe someone sugared the pipes?" Kato debated, then did a mental headshake. "If so, I would be tasting something different about the water, but I'm not. So it has to be a psychological thing. Come down and see what you can deduce about it, will you?"
Tegoshi can think of far better ways to spend an afternoon than analysing a mysteriously attractive water cooler in the Human Resources office, but since Kato's a good guy and gets bullied around enough by Nishikido, he drops by later on in the day. Unsurprisingly, Nishikido is lounging on the couch in Kato's office reading – or apparently reading – some magazine while Kato's half-vanished behind a stack of paperwork. Tegoshi pauses by the door.
"…nametags," Kato is saying with an edge in his voice. "I just got a brand new batch of them from the supplier yesterday and guess what I discovered this morning?"
"Do tell," Nishikido drawls.
"I had this glossy nametag for the new guy up on the fourth floor with Koyama and the babies which originally said 'Assistant Consultant'. What do you think it says now?"
"From my limited repertoire of wordplays, I would imagine A-S-S C-U…"
"I would almost respect your one-track mind if it didn't cause me so much trouble."
"You definitely respected my one-track mind last night."
"So tell me, Nishikido-sensei, just how much time did you spend scraping out those alphabets?"
Nishikido looks up, all eyes and lashes. "As much time as I spent thinking about your…"
Tegoshi coughs discreetly and raps on the door. "Kato-san, I don't think there's anything psychologically wrong with your water cooler. If you'd like, though, you could read up on the studies done by William Masters and Virginia Johnson on the human sexual response."
"How can my water cooler have a sexual res…" Kato stops abruptly and both Tegoshi and Nishikido grin at how rapidly his ears turn red.
"Your water cooler is one of a kind," Nishikido says fondly.
The last thing Tegoshi hears as he takes his leave is Kato saying, "In any case, the puppy's really going to get it the next time you mutilate nametags."
"You're blushing, pumpkin pie."
"You should really start moving away from French pastry."
"And you're blushing even more, my brown little dorayaki."
Since it doesn't seem like Kato will be informing the new guy up with Koyama-and-the-babies anytime soon about the status of his nametag, Tegoshi goes to find him instead. He's learned through experience that new colleagues usually respond well to doe eyes and sweet smiles. But when Tegoshi wanders in through the door of the maternity ward, the new guy is nowhere to be found and the only people in sight are Koyama, Yamashita, and the babies in their pink and blue cots.
Yamashita must have some kind of magical touch, Tegoshi thinks admiringly, watching as a baby squalling in Koyama's arms quietens down the moment Yamashita touches him with hands that have performed award-winning moves in surgeries. Koyama gazes at Yamashita as though he's an angel sent from heaven to soothe screaming babies. Tegoshi almost regrets that he's about to interrupt them, but he did come all the way from Kato's bottom floor office to the fourth floor maternity ward and it would be such a waste to walk away.
"Hi people!" he says, picking up the baby nearest to him and moving across to Koyama and Yamashita. The baby coos contentedly against his chest and Tegoshi smiles at the display of affection, really, it's so blatant that everybody loves him.
"Tegoshi-san," Koyama greets. "Where did you come from?"
"The Human Resources office. Kato-san asked me to do a check-up on his water cooler."
"That's an interesting specimen of a water cooler," Yamashita says with a happy kind of smile on his face that hadn't surfaced until Koyama happened. "It holds a very strong attraction for our expert radiologist."
"I would recommend to Kato-san that he dismantle it for reinstallation in Nishikido-sensei's office, but I have a feeling Nishikido-sensei would veto that idea very strongly," Tegoshi says cheerfully.
Koyama giggles and they shift the talk to the babies. This one has a 17-year-old mother and a 54-year-old father ("December and May," says Koyama; "Yes, like December 1950 and May 2001," Yamashita rejoins), that one had to be delivered by C-section (no matter how long he works in a hospital, Tegoshi still can't help but think that C-sections sound particularly brutal), the other one over there was premature by three weeks and took eight hours to deliver; all manner of baby gossip until Yamashita's pager beeps. He stands aside to make a quick phone call and then comes back with a slight knot of annoyance between his eyebrows.
"Have to run," he says, replacing his baby into the cot. "Some guy just got wheeled into A&E with food poisoning. He didn't realise the milk had expired two months ago."
"Examine his sense of smell while you're at it," Tegoshi advises.
"Take care," Koyama says.
Yamashita looks around for a moment; the maternity ward is full of windows and there's always someone outside. But he takes the chance and brushes his lips against Koyama's cheek anyway, and Tegoshi thinks he would avert his eyes if it wasn't so fascinating.
"Bye," Yamashita says, and leaves.
A baby snorts in sleep and Tegoshi watches as Koyama bends down to examine her. "Doesn't it ever bother you?" he asks curiously. "When Yamashita-sensei is called away any time of the day and you're left waiting for him?"
Koyama shrugs. "I waited two months for him, remember?"
"Yeah, but there's a difference between waiting two months when he's comatose and two hours when he's not."
Koyama just smiles happily as he pats his baby's back. "It would bother me if it wasn't worth the wait, but it is, so I just get myself used to it. I'm fine with the way things are."
Later, on his way back to the office, Tegoshi steals a biscuit out of Masuda the catering guy's food cart and munches on it while ruminating over his love-struck colleagues. They'll be okay, he decides, even though Yamashita's fascination with Koyama's babies stems from the same root as Nishikido's attraction to Kato's water cooler, and Kato and Nishikido's idea of love is maiming each other while Yamashita and Koyama could knock out teeth with their sweetness.
Then he looks seriously at his biscuit. "This is really salty."
"Of course, it's meant to be," says Masuda, smiling at him. "Patients' taste buds are dull, you know. The saltiness is to perk them up a little."
"Not everyone's taste buds are dull," Tegoshi objects, but Masuda is already trundling off, whistling a cheery tune.
The biscuit proves unsatisfactory, so he further treats himself to a couple of lollipops for having done good psychological work that day. Just before he knocks off, he emails Kato with a couple of links about Masters and Johnson's pioneering study on sexual arousal just in case Kato forgets to do his own research. He's sure Kato will appreciate.
end
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